Challenged

"Oh Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead"

Such strong words, strong words that really hit home. You see, i had a tough conversation with my mom today about my Alopecia. For those who dont know, i have a hair loss disease. I have been going to a dermatologist and he has been giving me steroid shots in my head to help stimulate hair growth. This has worked for 2 years however, i dont feel like the shots are working anymore...

I have clung to the shots to heal me, but they havent. The first time it happened i had known God my whole childhood but had lost God and the outbreak of hair loss, made me search for him again. This time however, i felt close to God and as i grow closer, it seems the shots are less effective. I kept asking myself and God "why?" I knew i loved God, and i longed for Him, but I was confused and upset at his tactics. I got to a point where externally, all seemed well but internally i felt God calling me to draw near to him again. I felt emotionally, and spiritually drained. I needed to worship and have 1-on-1 time with God.

When i got home from work i was SO excited to get to go worship and then i got on facebook and had a message asking if i could help with kids. I LOVE kids, but for some reason i started BAWLING! I felt so disconnected, and i was so excited to worship and reconnect and be refreshed that i didnt want to do one of my FAVORITE things? I laid there and cried and i felt God telling me, "Its okay, you will figure it out." sure enough, i got to the church, prayed with my fellow intern Bailey. She told me that she could tell by looking at me that i was struggling. BY LOOKING AT ME? now that is saying something. She stepped up and told me that i could worship and her and Alexis would deal with kids. Then we were told we had 0-5th grade. I was ready to just give up on my alone time with God so i could be accountable to her, to the kids, and to my church. Bailey wouldnt let me. So i got everything set up, told the kids to be nice, listen to Bailey and Alexis and left.

If Bailey hadnt pushed me to go to worship i wouldnt have heard this "Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead." That part of the song hit me, why was I upset with God? God gave his only son to die on the cross for MY sins. Jesus died WILLINGLY because it was part of God's bigger PLAN for me and you. Jesus DIED as a part of God's plan and i was upset with him for a hair loss disease? I realized, just like God had Jesus die to do his work, he would use me, and my experiences to also do work in His name.

As i was singing i remembered something. One night as i was in prayer i asked God to challenge me. To challenge me physically, emotionally and spiritually. God hit all 3 birds with 1 stone. Challenged physically-losing hair, challenged emotionally- fear of losing all my hair again, worry, challenged spiritually- I was starting to question Him, i feel he was challenging my faith in Him.

I am so glad that Bailey pushed me to go, and i am so glad for all the support she and everyone else in my life have given me. Now that i realize my alopecia is a tool i can use to do God's work, i am THANKFUL for it. I am ready to do God's work! I want to use my experiences and my love to teach kids about God's love, and to never give up no matter how much it hurts. God uses our trials to strengthen us!

I feel refreshed, renewed, refilled and ready to encounter God's plan! :)

Unimaginable Love

As I sit on the couch at my friends house i feel God telling me that girls are lost. We get so wrapped up in how we look, and what other people think of us. Girls are constantly putting ourselves down. But why? Do we call ourselves ugly for attention? For reassurance? Do we really believe that? Some of us think that no one matters to us. We spend so much time trying to be perfect that we forget about God. Some people ask "Why would God make me this way?" "Why can't i be like her instead?" We search for more, we search to be better, but we are looking in the wrong place.

We are all beautiful! Each and every one us was designed unique. We all have a special reason for being, we all have a purpose. God thinks we are beautiful! God is in love with us! He is crazy for us! We are valued! If we give our lives over to God, we will have more love than we have ever needed or will ever need.

"Be here---the king is wild for you. Since he's your lord, adore him." Psalm 45:11 (msg)
God is WILD for you! He WANTS to know YOU! He is the one who gave us life, we should ADORE him.

Adore- webster dictionary definition

1: to worship or honor as divine  2: to regard with loving admiration and devotion  3: to be very fond of

We should worship and honor him for he is DIVINE! :)

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone" Ephesians 1:11-12

Before we first heard of Christ he had his eye on us! It goes back to the "he is wild for you" he desires you so much. Before we ever knew him he had designs for us.

If we had a desire for Him like he has for us we would happier. Instead of spending an hour trying to look perfect, spend that time praising God. If it weren't for him you wouldnt be here. We spend time making over our faces instead you should spend time making over your hearts.

I hope for a society where girls have confidence in themselves. Women would encourage and uplift each other. Instead of tear each other down.

God's love is unimaginable :)

The Dance of Life

I found a poem that made me really think. Am i letting God have control or am i trying to control everything by myself?

Dancing with God By: Elaine L. Guercio
When I meditated on the word “Guidance”,
I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite
uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to
flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing
lightly in one direction or another.
It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word “guidance”.
When I saw “G”, I thought of God, followed by “U” and “I”.
“God”, “U” and “I” “dance”.
God, you and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance
about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God’s Blessings and mercies be upon you on
this day and every day.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and guide you through each
season of your life.

We have to allow God to be incontrol. The longer we try to stay in control the longer our life will be sloppy, messy, and unsuccessful! We will feel unfulfilled and sad. We will fail and fail again until we finally give God control.

When we finally allow God to control the dance of life, we will become happier. We will gain confidence, we will be successful, and most importantly our relationship with God will strengthen.
Two people can not be incontrol of the same dance. If we allow God to be incontrol our dance will graceful and beautiful.
Let God lead your Dance of Life! :)

He-said, she-said

When people here the word high school, one of the words that is most likely in the top ten things they think of is... Gossip. "she said.....", " she is dating so-and-so" when I think of the rumor system I think of the game telephone. You want the message to stay the same all the way through right?? It seems like no matter how hard you try the message always changes. Often, people will change it to make the message funnier, they will change the reality of what was said on purpose. Purposely making a different story than the truth right?

Rumors are similar and as I was reading John 7 in my bible I came across a verse that can relate to rumors. In John 7:18 Jesus says," A person making things up tries to make himself look good. But someone trying to honor the one who sent him sticks to the facts and doesn’t tamper with reality."

I feel this relates perfectly to gossip. The person who changes the message is trying to make themselves look better by making someone else look worse. They are hurting someone else so that atleast they look better than that other person

I felt God speaking on my heart that rumors or talking about people behind there back is something that needs to be addressed even in the church. Everyone struggles with the drama of other people's lives. We need to mind our own business and let God handle it.

:) I challenge everyone to evaluate this week how long we spend talking about other people behind their backs. I also challenge everyone to think about if they know that persons story? Are they struggling? Do they know Jesus?
How can you treat someone rudely if you don't know their story? Spend 5 minutes of your day to learn a little bit more about those people instead of talking about them behind their backs.

Have a great day! :)